Frequently Asked Questions

I'm Gary Redmond, The Counsellor Coach. I provide specialist face-to-face counselling in Shrewsbury for Anger Management, Relationship Counselling and Emotional Freedom. My approach is practical, active and focused on helping you understand what is happening in your life now, why particular emotional responses keep repeating and what can help you respond differently.

ABOUT MY APPROACH

How is your approach different from traditional counselling?

My professional background is in counselling, and what I offer is counselling. However, my way of working is particularly practical and focused. I don't assume that meaningful change requires months or years of exploring the past. Your history matters and, when it is relevant, we'll talk about it. But our starting point is usually the difficulty that has brought you to me now. I take an active part in our sessions. I listen, ask questions, offer observations and help you look at what is happening from perspectives you may not have considered before. Do we have to explore my childhood or past? Not necessarily. Sometimes understanding earlier experiences helps us understand why a particular response has become so powerful or automatic. When that's relevant, we'll explore it. But we don't investigate your past simply because you're having counselling. The focus remains on understanding what is affecting you now and what may help something change.

ANGER MANAGEMENT

How is your Anger Management Programme different?

I don't simply teach generic techniques for controlling anger after it has appeared. We work with your anger — your triggers, relationships and the situations in which things go wrong. We look at what happens before anger takes over, why particular situations affect you so strongly and where there may be an opportunity to interrupt a reaction that has become automatic. The programme consists of six private, face-to-face sessions with me in Shrewsbury. It is not a group course and it isn't a one-size-fits-all curriculum.

Why six sessions?

Six sessions give us enough time to understand your particular pattern of anger, work with real situations from your life and give you an opportunity to put what you're learning into practice between sessions. Although the programme has a structure, the work itself is individual. We concentrate on your circumstances rather than taking everybody through exactly the same material.

What if I've struggled with anger for most of my life?

A long history of anger can make it feel as though anger is simply part of who you are. I don't necessarily see it that way. An angry response can become deeply conditioned and automatic through years of repetition. That doesn't mean it defines your character or that you cannot learn to respond differently. I've worked with people of many different ages and backgrounds whose anger had been part of their lives for a very long time.

Will I have to attend a group?

No. The sessions are private and face-to-face with me. Anger can involve deeply personal experiences — relationships, family, betrayal, shame, regret and things you may never have discussed openly before. Individual sessions allow us to concentrate entirely on your circumstances.

Do you provide a Certificate of Attendance for an employer, HR or court?

Yes. I can provide confirmation of your attendance and, where appropriate, a Personal Progress Assessment Questionnaire allowing you to record in your own words what you have understood, learned and changed. These are not forensic assessments, risk assessments or guarantees about future behaviour. If a court, solicitor, employer or other organisation requires a particular form of report, assessment or accredited programme, you should check their requirements before beginning.

RELATIONSHIP COUNSELLING

Do we have to be a couple to come for Relationship Counselling?

No. I work with couples, but I can also work individually with someone experiencing difficulties within a relationship.
Sometimes understanding your own reactions and the part you play in a recurring pattern can begin to change what happens between you.

Is Relationship Counselling only for couples who argue?

No. Relationship difficulties don't always involve shouting or obvious anger. Problems can involve resentment, criticism, defensiveness, withdrawal, shutting down, emotional distance, loss of trust or repeatedly having the same unresolved disagreement. My work focuses not only on what you're disagreeing about, but also on what happens between you when the difficulty arises.

What is AIR™?

AIR™ means Anger in Relationships.
Anger within a relationship doesn't always appear as shouting or aggression. It can also appear as criticism, resentment, defensiveness, hostility, withdrawal or silence. Understanding what happens when one person's emotional reaction triggers another can help couples recognise the pattern they have become caught in and begin responding differently.

EMOTIONAL FREEDOM

Is Emotional Freedom the same as EFT or tapping?

No. Although the name may sound similar, my Emotional Freedom counselling is not Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT). I trained in EFT many years ago, but it is not part of the way I work today. There is no tapping, no work with meridians or energy systems, and no spiritual or alternative practice involved. This is counselling. We work with what is actually happening in your life, how you are responding to it and what may be keeping you caught in emotional distress.

What do you mean by Emotional Freedom?

Emotional freedom doesn't mean never experiencing anger, anxiety, sadness, disappointment, grief or emotional pain. These are part of being human. It means developing greater freedom in how you respond to what you feel and to what happens in your life. At the heart of this work is a question I have asked many times:

How can I be okay when things are not okay?

Being okay doesn't mean approving of what happened or pretending something doesn't hurt. It means becoming less controlled by an automatic emotional response to something you may not be able to change.

WHY AREN'T YOU BACP ACCREDITED?

I trained as a counsellor and was formerly an accredited member of the Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (IACP). During my career I also worked with a number of BACP-accredited supervisors and spent many years within conventional counselling practice. As my experience grew, however, my way of working developed in a different direction. I became increasingly active, practical and focused on helping people understand and change the patterns affecting their lives, rather than restricting my work to a conventional counselling model. I tried for some time to reconcile my approach with that model, but ultimately decided that changing the way I worked simply to fit within a particular professional framework would mean giving up important aspects of an approach I had developed through many years of working with clients. I therefore chose independence rather than changing the way I work in order to pursue BACP accreditation. My counselling training remains an important foundation of my work, but today I work independently, drawing on more than twenty-five years of experience and an approach that has developed considerably during that time. If BACP accreditation is important to you when choosing a counsellor, then I may not be the right practitioner for you. I would rather be completely open about that.


SESSIONS AND PRACTICAL QUESTIONS

Are sessions confidential?

Yes. Sessions are private and confidential, subject to the normal professional and legal limits of confidentiality.

Are sessions face-to-face?

Yes. The Counsellor Coach is a face-to-face counselling practice in Shrewsbury. Sessions are private and one-to-one with me. Relationship Counselling sessions can, of course, involve both partners.

How long is a session?

Sessions last a full hour.

How often will I need sessions?

This depends on the work we're doing. Sessions will usually begin weekly, although we can discuss what is most appropriate for you. Anger Management is provided as a structured six-session programme. Relationship Counselling and Emotional Freedom are tailored to the individual circumstances rather than following the same six-session structure.

How do I know whether working with you is right for me?

I encourage you to read about the area you're seeking help with, how I work and particularly the testimonials from people I've previously worked with. The initial session also gives us an opportunity to meet, understand what has brought you to counselling and consider whether I am the right person to help you.

Is your counselling suitable for everyone?

No form of counselling is right for everybody. My approach requires a willingness to look at your own responses and consider what you may be able to change. Taking responsibility for your response does not mean accepting blame for what somebody else has done to you. There are also circumstances where a different or more specialist form of support may be appropriate, particularly where somebody is experiencing severe or acute psychological or psychiatric difficulties, immediate risk of harm, serious active substance misuse or another difficulty requiring specialist clinical treatment. If, after meeting you, I believe your needs would be better met elsewhere, I will discuss that with you openly.

What is your cancellation and rescheduling policy?

Your appointment is confirmed once the required payment has been received. If you've paid and subsequently cannot attend, please let me know and we can rearrange your appointment in accordance with my cancellation policy. A missed appointment where you do not attend and do not contact me may still be charged.

Full details of fees, payment and booking arrangements are available on the Fees & What to Expect page.